Songs of the Heart
by perishedlove
Summary: Sesshomaru remembers a specific conversation with his mother about mates. And then he finds his own mate. InuSess ONESHOT YAOIBrother Love


A silver-haired boy that couldn't be a day older 100 winters blinked his golden eyes in disbelief at a woman that seemed to look just like him, yet a bit more feminine smiled a warm smile at him from her elaborately decorated chair. She outstretched her long, slender, and pale arms toward the boy and he soon came into them, leaning in close to his mother's chest.

The two said nothing as the boy climbed into his mother's lap and sat comfortably in it. The woman continued to hold her son to her in a loose embrace as she breathed in his scent quietly. The boy's long silver hair shifted in front of his face as his eyes stared to the carpeted floor sadly. His own arms that were slowly getting stronger wrapped around his mother's figure that was clothed in a fine kimono. It was made of silk and trailed to the woman's feet and farther. It also had a blue lining on it and a white base. Pink sakura blossoms adorned her shoulder and a large one on her back. The stem of the one on her right shoulder grew down to her hip and then disappeared behind her back. The layers under the kimono may have been just as exquisite.

They boy wore a less ornamented outfit. His haori was white also with red patches scattered over both his shoulders. His obi was gold with blue tips and his pants were white as well. He had a blue moon on his forehead along with maroon slashes on his cheeks, wrists, ankles, and hips but his clothes prevented anyone from seeing most of the markings.

Suddenly the boy broke the silence as he pulled away from his mother a bit to look her in the eye. Honey golden to light lavender. "So…when I am old enough to understand certain things, I will find someone. And then I will spend my life with this person?"

The elder held her far away look and her smile and began to pull her hand through the next Lord of the West's hair. "Not just spend your life with them, my son. It's not that simple. You will find someone who will make you happy. They will make you smile and you will fall in love with them."

This made the young prince wrinkle his nose in confusion. "Mother, what is this love you speak of?"

The Lady of the Western Lands' eyes softened at the mention of such a subject and her eyes soon misted over with long forgotten memories of past experiences. "Well, love, it's when someone makes you very happy. When you feel a warm feeling in your heart and you just know you want to be with them forever. When that someone makes you feel like you're home and makes you forget all of your worries." She paused to place a kiss on her son's forehead. "You will know when love happens, dear. You just…know."

Sesshomaru sighed in misunderstanding. "And they will become my mate when this happens?" He closed his eyes and laid his head on his mother's shoulder when she nodded to him slowly.

"They will bear you pups as well."

Sesshomaru glanced on a picture of he and his family on the wall. His mother looked radiant. She stood beside her husband delicately as she placed a hand on his shoulder lovingly. And next to her stood his father, proud as ever and baring both fangs in a true smile. It all looked so perfect. Maybe too perfect?

"Do you and father…do you love each other?" Sesshomaru asked in a whisper as to not anger the woman next to him with such a question. When he got no response he began to pull away from her again, but was stopped by a soothing arm rubbing his back.

"Yes. We do love each other…very much. He just has a heart that seems split." Sesshomaru could hear pain in her voice as she said these words so he decided to not say anything more on the issue, but Katsukoto pressed on. "You see, a split heart is when a man loves not only one woman, but two. And he cannot choose between either because he loves both too much to let them go. It's a very sad thing, but I think I am blessed to see such a thing. And you should think the same way, Sesshomaru. Your father has a big enough heart to care for so many. He cannot contain his love."

Sesshomaru felt his mother's lips turn upward into a smile as they pressed against his hairline. But what's more was that he felt a wetness hit in the same spot. Tears. His mother was crying. He held her close as she made no sound as to indicate her affliction, but he could feel his shoulders getting wet as well.

"I feel I am blessed, I do! Please don't cry mother…" Sesshomaru had never known anyone stronger than his mother, besides his father of course, but she was always the hand that pulled him to his feet when he had fallen. She was also the voice of reasoning when he didn't know how to deal with something. He'd never seen her break down like this. And finally seeing it, made him feel sanctified and pained at the same time.

He felt the tears stop hitting his hair and rushing down to the tips only to land on the floor when they came to the end of his tendrils. Katsukoto sighed and looked to a nearby window in the room and out into the gardens. And suddenly she smiled again.

"Do you hear that?" She asked in a lowered voice from her normal tone.

Sesshomaru studied her for a moment and then asked, "Hear what?"

"The voice. The voice coming from your spirit." His mother quietly stated this. Sesshomaru began to wonder if she'd lost her mind when she continued. "The voice comes from the spirit of your heart. Everyone knows your heart is just an organ that pumps blood to you body, but the spirit of your heart is much different. The heart can neither hear nor speak, but the spirit can do both. It hears your innermost thoughts and desires and then makes a song. It sings the song to anyone who is willing to listen. The song may be sad, or happy, or scary, or even silly. But your voice…it sings a sad song. I can hear it's weeping."

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed as he tried to comprehend her words and take them in. "How do I listen for these songs, mother?"

"You listen by closing your eyes letting go of any thoughts you had before. You have to clear your mind and concentrate on the person whose song you are trying to hear. You think about everything you know about them and then you begin to hear a melody. A tune. And then words begin to come to you and the spirit begins to sing to you. All you have to do is listen, my son." Katsukoto wiped her damp cheeks as she spoke the last words. "You will be able to hear your mate's song more effortless then anyone's. It will come to you naturally and it will calm you."

Sesshomaru rested his head on his mother's chest again and stayed quiet. He closed his eyes and not a minute later he opened them. "You're song is very sad too, mother." He felt her tense beneath him. "But it soothes me, I like it." Katsukoto relaxed after that and held her son close to her as he fell into sleep as the sun fell from the sky.

660 winters later

Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed in thought as he remembered one of the more awkward conversations with his mother. But he recalled every last word she had said and her advice on mates. It didn't really help much now, but maybe later it could do some good in his life. His mother never was one to be caught babbling on about pointless things anyway.

That was also before he got his mask. He had been too young to master it then. And even when he had mastered it at an older but young age, he always dropped it around his mother. She was his whole world back then anyway. Why hide things from her?

But his father was a different story. He was always on guard with his father. He had to keep his feelings of hatred and disgust at bay when in his presence. The only reason he held so much malice for him was because of his mother. That bastard had deserted her for some human wench and had gone and mated her. What had he been thinking? And if his mother wasn't going to hold it against his father, he certainly would.

But as he stood in the outskirts of the woods and in the mass of brush, he wondered if it was really a bad thing if his father had done this to his mother and had a hanyou for a son. The hanyou boy…well now he was more of a man…he was remarkable. He could fight better than practically every other demon this Sesshomaru knew and the furry white dog ears on his head that proved he was half demon made him only look more irresistible to demonesses.

As the new Lord of the West watched the hanyou fight off a huge spider demon, he thought about him even more. Of course they were brothers, half brothers really, but he himself had never shown such a family attitude toward who he knew to be Inuyasha. Whenever he called him 'Little brother' he only meant he was inferior. Her never really meant to acknowledge the fact that they had a stronger bond than enemies. He was constantly fighting the half breed and he hardly ever showed any regret in hurting him. He was pretending to hate his brother. But what reason did he have to do this? It wasn't his fault he was a half breed and the only person Sesshomaru could really blame at this point was again his father.

By this time, Inuyasha had slain the other demon that hadn't even come close to matching his brother's powerful demonic aura. It had been obvious the whole time who was going to win. But then Inuyasha's eyes suddenly darted to the exact place of Sesshomaru's standing and glared an awful glare. And his voice spat poison as Inuyasha stayed in an offensive position. "Come on out, Sesshomaru! I don't really know why, but you've been watchin' me this whole entire time! If you want a fight, let's get it over with!"

But Sesshomaru did not take a step out. He only partially came into the light so Inuyasha could see his eyes and a few other parts of his mostly shadowed body. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and the silence reigned. The two stood staring into each other's eyes saying nothing and not even moving. One of the pair's filled with loathing and the other of the two completely blank and emotionless. But nonetheless, gold matched gold.

Almost identical to each other in beauty but such different personalities hidden behind their faces. Sesshomaru then stepped fully out of the woods and into the clearing with his brother. "What do you want from me?" Was the softened reply from Inuyasha.

"I did not come to take anything from you, little brother. I only came to watch you fight." Sesshomaru said in his normal icy tone, glancing at the corpse from his place. He wasn't daring enough to take another step toward Inuyasha.

"Bull. That makes no sense for someone like you to do that. Why are you really here?" Inuyasha moved his voice back up to a menacing one again. But part of it wasn't right. It seemed to have barred emotions hiding behind his words. Did Sesshomaru hear…grief? Mourning? Maybe a bit was anger, but there was definitely something else there.

"I can't really explain why I am here myself. My blood told me to come. It was like instinct." Sesshomaru looked straight into Inuyasha's eyes to see his reaction. And a reaction he did see. Inuyasha's eyes had widened to a certain degree and his jaw had sort of dropped his ears had perked up to a more listening position. Another thing that was good to see was that Inuyasha had sheathed Tetsusaiga. Did he trust him?

Inuyasha took a few steps forward until he was within three feet of Sesshomaru and then spoke, "An instinct? Why would your blood tell you to find me?" Inuyasha's head tilted to the side and the curiosity in his voice wasn't well concealed.

"I told you already that I cannot explain it." But deep in his mind he knew he could. Then Sesshomaru suddenly felt the need to do something he hadn't done in years. He closed his eyes and opened them a few moments later with an almost bemused look on his face. He couldn't hear it. And then he realized… "Inuyasha, come here."

Sesshomaru sat on a rock near the edge of the woods next to a tree gracefully while Inuyasha approached hesitantly. "Why?" He asked when he got a foot away from his brother.

Sesshomaru eyed Inuyasha warily and then answered, "Do not question me. Just sit down next to me." Seeing no other way out of it, Inuyasha sat down next to the youkai a bit away from him. Suddenly Sesshomaru pulled Inuyasha close to him and laid his head on his younger's chest lightly. He felt Inuyasha tense up fast when he held him in his embrace. Sure it was awkward, but Sesshomaru had to see…

And then he closed his eyes and instantly he heard a song. It was a bit depressing. But he could hear a woman singing with a lovely voice as she spoke of a broken soul. And when it ended only a moment later Sesshomaru craned his neck to look up at his brother who had seemed to calm down. Inuyasha had his eyes closed as well. And then he opened them slowly to meet Sesshomaru's gaze. And in that moment they both knew.

Then Sesshomaru realized that Inuyasha had his own arms around his waist with one stroking his back. It frightened him a bit at first, but then it relieved him greatly. He knew now that Inuyasha was his fated mate. They were supposed to be together through destiny. But…could they? Being a half demon, Inuyasha may go with his other human half and disregard the youkai customs.

He did love Inuyasha. Down to every last bit of the half demon he was truly infatuated with him. He smiled a bit and laid his head back down to soak up the moment just another moment longer before the two had to pretend it never happened. It was quiet as Inuyasha traced the maroon and blue markings on Sesshomaru's face as the other stared off into nothing as he continued to think.

"Sesshomaru…What does this mean? What was that…song?" Inuyasha whispered in his brother's ear as to not startle him in the relaxed state. He stopped caressing his brother's face then.

"I really do not know what to do. But the song you heard was my own. It comes from my heart's soul. It's who I am. I heard yours too." Sesshomaru quieted for a moment before saying, "It was beautiful."

Inuyasha paused as well but then uttered barely above a whisper, "I liked yours too." The two sat in complete silence for a few more minutes. And right before Inuyasha was about to place his head on Sesshomaru's to get more comfortable, Sesshomaru promptly stood up and began walking away. "Wait! Sesshomaru, what will we do?" Obviously Inuyasha spoke of the mating.

"Do what you want brother. I am content with whatever you wish." Sesshomaru didn't turn around. Inuyasha didn't have to see him break down. He only heard Inuyasha sigh before he continued to walk away. He knew his decision. But Sesshomaru didn't have to stop watching over his brother. He could still see him in a fight.

But he couldn't stay any longer now. He didn't know what could happen or what words he may say if he stayed in his brother's arms another moment longer. After all, Inuyasha didn't belong to him anymore. 'Damn…'

He could be happy for his brother from afar. He didn't need to be his mate or lover to be around him anyway. A ghost of a smile played across his flawless face as he continued away from his distraught brother. 'Why…'

But as he walked away Sesshomaru heard a small voice being carried by the wind whisper in his ear, "I'm sorry, brother…Wait for me…"

'Love only me…'

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**_-PL_**

**_I love this one. The ending was a bit weird though._**


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